possibility.

tonight i had a long conversation with a man who knows more than you ever will.
i came to the conclusion that the Lord(the man who knows more than you ever will (:  ) is the best listener in the entire world. my heart was humbled. maybe for the rest of this situation or maybe for the rest of only tonight. i can honestly say that i have no idea.

this separation has made my life come to a halt at some points, made my emotions take a complete 180, made my daily routines... not a routine anymore. its a habit that was broken. and with brokenness comes clarity.

i have not once questioned that the Lord wasn't doing this for his own glory. through my selfish desires, sure i want things that i cant have. but when i really sit and think about it i say okay whitney, think about other analogies that don't seem as bad but are comparable to this.

 the first one that popped into my mind is something that happened earlier. my two lovely friends, that the Lord has DEFINITELY brought us back together through this situation, and i were shopping. we kept finding stuff and it was so appealing to me, then it didn't work too well... i remember  i said once "well, i'll try this on only for it not to even work out for me! (:" and at first they didn't. (and true this is kind of in a materialistic way because we were shopping.. but bear with me.) but after we kept on going from place to place on our girls night/day, i found little things here and there that i would much rather spend my money that i worked hard and long hours for.


now how that relates is think about it this way. i really may have wanted the cardigan. did it look right? na.. i didnt want to put it back, but if it didn't look right why in the world would i get it? so i have to move on until i find something or even if i DONT. this is kind of the same way with relationships in a way (even friendships.) i may really want the relationship to work. was it working RIGHT? maybe not so much. did i want to end it? no. so if it wasn't working right at the time (at least for one person) why would you continue. maybe this is just lack of sleep that is talking and i may not make any sense, and for that i do apologize.

In Francis Chan's book "Forgotten God" he writes this paragraph that is very intriguing. He tells us that there is a HUGE difference between BELIEVING what God has PROMISED... and PRAYING for things we would LIKE to be TRUE. Later he goes on to tell us that ultimately we need to stake our faith in God alone, not on the gifts, as good as they may be, that He gives... and that it all just really comes down to TRUST.
he ends the paragraph saying this


" Do you trust God that when He says no or "not in this way" to you, you still believe He is good and is doing what is best?"


I just want you to think about this. dwell on it. for as long as you need to. because this, my friends is a serious question that you should keep yourself in check with. its a struggle that i am constantly asking myself especially when hard times seem to overtake my life.
i speak to myself as well when i say to remember Psalms 115:3

Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him.




just think about it.